The title of this post is a direct quote from a fellow innocent bystander who happened to be sitting behind us during The Happening. I don't even know what to say at this point...that quote sort of sums it up.
I find it ironic on a day when I wrote a post discussing The Incredible Hulk that K and I went to see The Happening instead. I find it triply ironic that on the day when I wrote in that Hulk post that Edward Norton was "Hollywood's Biggest Ego," that I was jarred back into reality...I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN! My apologies to Mr. Norton.
"Ego," however, doesn't even begin to describe Shyamalan. I'm not sure what the man is thinking...and I really have no clue what the hell he's smoking.
I could have renamed the film The Catastrophe, though that would be putting it kindly. Ever since Signs was released in 2002, people have been buzzing about the arrogance and insanity of M. Night Shyamalan, and the buzz has been getting louder and louder, especially after 2004's The Village and 2006's Lady in the Water. But The Happening is something else altogether. We are witnessing the sudden, jarring, awe-inspiring suicide of Shyamalan's career. If anyone at any studio comfortably pays him money to make another film ever again, that person should be fired and that studio should be considered desperate beyond all reason. On the basis of this film, I'm not even sure M. Night even wants to work in the film business ever again. This is like his big, final "fuck you"to the industry, to critics, to audiences, and to the once commonly understood conception that he was a talented filmmaker.
I wasn't even intending to write this much, and yet I haven't even mentioned how this film turns talented, charismatic, sometimes brilliant actors like Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel into B-movie muggers who look like they've never been directed in their lives. There is just too much shit to discuss in a single, off-the-cuff post. But I just wanted to get the word out...there is a plague killing audiences all across the country...it won't stop until your tolerance level has been forcibly lowered and your brain cells have been fried by the sheer, pointless idiocy of its plot, the total ineptitude of its writing, directing, and editing, the shrill, nauseating drone of its vile music score, and the arrogant--nay, mentally deranged--notion that all of it is somehow tense, or funny, or powerful, or campy, or shocking, or enlightening...or any combination thereof.
Make no mistake: we are witnessing history. The Happening is one of the worst films ever made.